..becoming..
the summer is near the end. the deep humidity is slowly easing
here in the cornfields of middle earth.
the studio has been less the productive the last three months and i have
to be honest, i can say it is because we had so many commitments in
our summer schedule, we did. but the truth is, i just don't have it in me
right now. i feel far removed from my art, several friendships have seemed
to crumble and i am searching to find my way back....why the hell didn't
i take the basket of bread crumbs. i simply feel lost.
am i lost forever, of course not. will this ease - i believe it will.
today while cleaning the studio...prepping for the big R.E.N.O.V.A.T.I.O.N.
i found a little piece of heaven. my gal valerie, shared a simple handmade
bookmark with me, while we retreated on the beach in manzanita.
"we are in the process of becoming"
ah-ha! there are those breadcrumbs. i had them all along, just that in the
muck of the studio, the were buried.
this process of becoming, i believe, is a life long journey. i have become
a daughter, mother, employee, friend. some days i become who i am meant
to be and other days, i stumble, becoming someone i don't recognize as i
gaze in the morning mirror. sadness and low energy greets me along with
a bad case of bedhead.
as i look around this studio, i see the simple things that i love the most as an artist,
my brushes, a table so full of bottled color - i am like the dog of pavlov. so as i regain
my footing, i give this studio a big hug and continue in becoming the artist i know i
am.
do you ever think you have no influence on anyone, that your voice is not heard? i
seem to do this everyday, but then i am reminded in an easy carefree way, that i have
made someone smile, or their day a little better. and with those moments, comes a
severe tongue lashing for myself, for being so selfish and insecure. we all make
a difference, each and everyday. and if we skip a day, that is okay. there is someone
there picking up our slack, like maybe we did for them the day before.
"we are in the process of becoming"
just another reminder of my becoming came from the artist known as twiggy. she
gave me this little box wrapped in a big bow today.
embracing the little things is how i hop back on the path of becoming.
