i sat on the plane.....giddy that i was on my way to the woods of new hampshire. on my way to old and new faces. so happy that i was sharing a ride with my girls from last year, tracey and sarah. we were the girls of hamilton last year.
my unfinished box from lisa's class. last year i remember watching lisa - a bit intimidated by her striking beauty. this year i was blessed to have her as a teacher. and the best part was, she was wickedly funny and even more giving in her knowledge and creativity. i sat there saying to myself....seriously kelly, why do you form an opinion before it is even validated. i so want to have more classes with this chick! what a talent and gift s.a.w. has with her in the mix.
ah....miss hula 70. i have followed her blog for about 2 years and her short querky bangs are a true love of mine. [ i am chopping mine soon - hope you don't mind!] her free love approach and giddy personality wraps around you so fast that all you can do is go along with it. i am sure she was the one in high school always forging the way for crazy antics, like dancing on tables and playing spin the bottle! i am so happy that i have a new contraption to play with.
my third class was with helene. i have never meditated and i didn't find her white light. but what did happen was even better for me... i was able to slow down my breathing and the ping pong balls that reak havoc on my gray matter simply found a resting place and i was able to simply be in that moment, and rest. i was able to calm some anger that i have been carrying. not totally letting it go yet....hell it was a 4 hour class people...i will work on that one, but slowing it down, validating me and moving on to calm. i will take that little gift. oh yes i will.
this is sommers...where the girls are, where the girls played and where the fun happened. i love the girls of sommers and i have to admit, the first nite was a bit rough for me. i missed my roomies from last year and had a bit of guilt that i didn't stay with them this year. but i went upstairs to the room that i was sharing with someone new, sat on my bed, shed a little tear and then miss georgia came in and i was all better. two years of loving, fun and kind roomies. oh yeah...i am one lucky chick.
my girl georgia...need to laugh, curse or just be silly - georgia is the one!
i have to say friday nite has to go down in the history books as one of my best nights ever. liz and i walked down to the dock to find 4 other beauties putting down a little sheet to rest on, layered with bottles of wine, crackers and cheese that they had conveniently borrowed from the rdc dining hall and a candle. we sat out under the dome of stars on that dock and we were simply girls. there was some dipping involved, plenty of spirits ingested and reading of the cards [ who wants to do a tarot reading and i sat there like a block of ice from the ice house, at first with this thought running through my mind...if my mother gets wind of this she will not be happy. i will be reminded that this is sacreligious and i will go to hell! that lasted for about 2 seconds and then a quick I LOVE IT!] it was so safe on that dock. i was among the girls of sommer and a couple of our adopted chickadees - friday nite on the dock was simply home.
...and this is me - wickedly happy.
[ this is my 2nd year for s.a.w. - i have to say this. i am blessed to have had this opportunity in my life. i live in the middle of indiana, middle of soybeans and cornfields, middle of 3 kids, two dogs and a husband who works overtime - every day....sundays included. and until i met some creative souls through blogs, then the big leap to spend some time and money on me and head out alone to new hampshires, squam lake - i was a very lonely creative girl. each of you who have smiled at me on the path, taken my hand as we walked through the woods, giggled at my silliness on the dock or in the cabins have made my journey shine like no other day. and maybe you have not truly been introduced to me, but i have seen you, i have heard you, i have learned from you. what we have is a bond, a creative sisterhood...along with a few brothers that ties us all into a neat sometimes messy little bow. and because of that - i can lay off my husband a little more about moving me out of this conservative little burb - and he says thanks a bunch!, me too! ]
[ the exciting qualities you see in others also exist in you. you may not be able to see your potential, but it's there and it is enormous. ~edge keynote]
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i will see you there, and if you aren't going this time round - i will miss you, and if you have never seen your enormous potential and don't dare go to a retreat like this - then seek that potential, hold on to it, then give that gift to you.
so much has been going on here. i feel like i have been thrown into a cyclone. last weekend was such a crazy one, filled with plenty of goodness and memories, but it is funny how all that goodness can throw me into a weird space in life. i had an odd few days, of dealing with some emotions that were brought up. and it is hard to go into it without sounding like a giddy girl, so lets just leave it at that.
um...so - right - concentrating goodness. i have had plenty so here is a little look into my window for the week.
1. in just 6 sleeps....i am heading back to meet up with so many that i adore and can't wait to sit on the dock with, sipping some cool drink.
2. tomorrow is the gallery opening for the "vision of squam" i have a couple of pieces in the show...so hop on over to the artstream gallery and check it out. susan schwake and liz kalloch have been so kind to all of us.
3. and with the squam show - susan schwake is doing interviews with some of the artists. you can check mine outhere!
4. i have some new items heading to squam with me for the art fair. liz kalloch and i are sharing a table. plenty of goodness there, so please stop by and said hello if you are there!
5. and last but never least.....my boy has officially reached manhood. no no....just the ripe old age of 18! gabe - is one of the kindess, caring and funny boys i know. he plays guitar and sometimes even sits with his mama, strumming out some coldplay while singing the tune. how i love this kid. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABIE BABY. YOU ARE WELL ON YOUR WAY! please....just stop leaving homework piled at the bottom of the locker, turn it in for the love of god!
well there you have it....a little bit of goodness and a whole lot of crazy!
how is it you are around those you love, friends, kids and you still feel this fog. it weighs deep on me, causing me to question, wonder and yearn.
stages of feeling like you aren't where you need to be. you have some how missed out on on specific moments, chances ..moments of lonely
i breathe, breathe so deep that the filling of my lungs hurt. but i have to go that deep that the breath evens out my pulse, my thoughts and my mood.
i ask, am i the only one who feels unsettled. is it that i am so selfish in my wants that i yearn for more or is it that i haven't reach my point, my reality, my place where i truly belong.
the unsettled feeling rushes over me, it pushes me to places i really don't want to go. that roller-coaster feeling returns, right as you hit the top, your belly fills with butterflys and suddenly you feel queazy and out of control.
i tend to blame the scorpio in me, i am too fickle, to passionate. and at the same time, i am happy, i love my kids, i love my life - and yet this little voice tells me - you aren't there yet. a gypsy wandering through the daily channel.
here in indiana, every friday nite football is played. and occasionally an indy news crew comes across the fall sky, in the glory of a helicopter. it was amazing tonight to watch the blue and orange crowd as the helicopter graced the sky.
tonight was a reminder of where i come from, my roots planted here in middle indiana. rooted deep in this county. my growth began in 1964 when my parents brought me home to the little house in new richmond, home of the coal creek bearcats. my father a teacher and varsity football coach. i grew up on wooden bleachers, splinters in the arse, let me tell ya! i grew up to the smell of popcorn and fountain cokes. when students had a love for their school and respect for those who taught them. my forth year, the bearcats entered football season with a perfect record and as they came to their last game, a perfect season.
tonight that 1969 bearcat team was honored during halftime. i watched my 73 year old father, walk out on the track with his assistant coach and family friend of over 40 years by his side. i watched each player shake his hand, wrap there arms around him and they still address him as coach. as i stood to the side getting pictures - i could smell the popcorn, i could smell the locker room and the 5 gallon bucket full of salt tablets. i was 4 again, riding home after a game on the gravel road, moths smacking the window as the breeze came through our open windows. i was 4 again, watching my dad on the sideline, proud of him. to watch 20 some men, still show respect to a man that coached them 40 years ago, to still shake hands, i was proud of the job he did.
