..gettting there..

getting these is the battle.

since my birthday in october, i have been working on a diet. as

much as i hate to call it that, that is exactly what it is. what pulled

me to this specific plan was the "clean" eating. and in the beginning

it was pretty radical. i have cut out sugar, salt and caffeine...and

that was just the beginning. cutting sugar meant no more lattes,

no more dirty hippies, peanut butter m&m's...nada. no salt meant

no longer shaking the salt over my food 3-4 times during he meal

and of course no caffeine also meant cutting out the lattes, diets,

chocolate. all of it. and i did. the first two weeks weren't terrible

but by the end of it, i was literally gagging on lettuce i had had so

many salads. but by week three....the menu opened up a bit

and one of the biggest savers was getting fruit at lunch. so after

2.5 months....today i weighed in and ihave lost 25lbs.

...before i go any further, i just want to say this - i am not looking

for any kudos, or cheers....i put myself in such a bad place with my

eating and my weight, but i am writing this only because i know

there are so many others out there feeling the same way. so if

you are someone who is down on yourself because you feel you

are too heavy, or you feel tired and unmotivated - you can do it to.

i was at the point where just a drive down the street meant me

sitting in the car very upset because as we drove, my belly jiggled.

i had quit all exercise because i had no energy and i hated feeling

my flabbyness in constant motion. i was so self conscience, that i

found myself always tugging on my shirts to make sure they were

pulled down over my waist band. and most would say...kelly you

really aren't that heavy....well yes i was. since bryce and i got

married over 9 years ago - i had gained over 40lbs. for someone

who is 5'3.5 - that is way too much extra weight and the worse

part was i would eat so many high carbs and sugar, that i would

literally crash almost daily. it wasn't healthy and i had begun to

hate myself because of it.

i have 5 weeks left before i work on the stabiliazation period

and 10 more lbs to go. i still will be keeping sugars, salts

and caffeine out of my diet. my goal is to never put myself

back into that bad place....will i eat sugar again...sure

i already have. i allow myself a spoon of ice cream, i have

nibbled on a french fry. because that just isn't in my reality

never to have those things. but what is in my reality is that

i feel the best i have since we got married. when i run on the

treadmill now, my stomach isn't in the way, i can run with no

pain...it is glorious.

so...if you are wanting to start, or you are down on yourself

because you have gained more than you are comfortable with

then find what will work for you. you can do it. i sat for over

5 years, feeling worse and worse about myself, refusing to

believe that i could do it. never daring to just pick myself

up and say no more. but after a little over 2 months i have

lost a significant amount of weight. see you can do it - and

in a short amount of time, in a very healthy manner.

really....