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7.31.2009

..worn..



having a teenage girl - today has worn me down.
why is it so hard to teach girls to value themselves.
why do parent's no longer look out for your kids
when you are not there.

i look at her little face, those eyes and wonder if i am getting
through to her at all. i have been there, allowing boys to treat
me like i am their possession. the grip that makes you feel like
only you can make their life better, their baggage will go away
if you stay with them. only creating more damage for yourself.
unaware of the road that this will pave later.

another phone call, why can't i have a relationship with your
daughter. 6 months and he still won't go away.

i had her, had her feeling better. the loneliness was easing,
her personality was again like her old self and then, here he
comes. why is there nothing i can do. why are we still dealing
with this boy.

so many good things going on here, so many. but today, i can't
even think about the months to come. i am worn from this
intrusion. always trying to stay ahead of the situation, my
mind races with my next step. talking to her, listening, tears.

..worn..


9 comments:

kristen said...

oh friend...i worry so much about this in my future.

you're a good mama kelly and even though it seems like you might not be heard, your girl hears you and the words and comfort you give her now they are making a difference. really.

go easy this weekend. xo

Liz said...

I think it's all about what you are doing Kelly, and keep talking to her... keep reminding her how precious and perfect and strong she is, remind her that she is complete all in herself, just as she stands, just as she exists. I know my sister in law thinks about these times in her future with my niece, and how we can only pass on our love and our experience and our knowledge and remind them that they are complete, always complete, always loved, and the boys that come along and cause havoc and make us feel needed, but are not necessarily good for us, will always be hanging around on the periphery of our lives, and sometimes we will fall for them, and sometimes we will be strong enough, wise enough, to walk on past them. Sending you lots of love, and knowing that you are doing all a mama can do, loving your girl, and all the worry that goes with that love... xo

beth said...

these teenage years are soooo hard....how do any of us do it?
how do any of our kids make it through it ?

hang in there honey....you're not alone !

Nina Cunningham said...

Communication is so important. They need to be protected so badly - and they have no idea and they want no part of it. Why does independence slip in so early? Prayers to you and your daughter Kelly!

The Whole Self said...

your daughter is so lucky to have you.

i'm going to be coming to you for advice in about 6-8 years, depending on when my girl's BS starts, OK? :)

pERiWinKle said...

Just to say I hear you and all the worry and hurt in your words...

love love love...that is all there is to do...love love love! xx

Amy said...

I"m sorry you've had to deal with this. I heard my own future in your words.

Sending you lots of peace, love and mama superpower. Your daughter is one lucky girl to have such a fantastic example.

misty said...

i feel for you. how hard this age must be for a mother... i know it was for my mom and i do not look forward to india being at this point in life, and yet i know it will be here so soon and i will have to get through it and hope i can do a good job...
sounds like you are doing a wonderful job!
xoxoo

susan said...

just keep at it. that is what i tell myself everyday. when i am not lamenting on how old i feel... ;)
in the end you will have done the best job you can.
xoxo sending hugs, susan