mocha eyes

we took cheri' to iu today...
she really doesn't want to have
to go back for another year of
studying, but she knows she doesn't
want to be here at home either.

this weekend wasn't a good one with
her. she was very moody and pretty
much a pain in my arse. but as we
got closer to iu her mood changed. she
was laughing and smiling. she drove
ahead of bryce and myself in the borrowed
truck. and i couldn't help wonder where the
time has gone. she has gone from a very
active child to an extremely confident, independent
young woman. sometimes when she is acting
like a typical 19 year old - i have to remind myself
that she is just that...19. most days she comes off
at about 25-30. she has been such an ease to raise.

i know i really only have her 3 more years. i know
that when she graduates, she will leave me. most
days i am glad of that. i want her to spread those
wings and fly. i didn't do that. that is a regret.
but today watching her drive ahead. hand out the
window, playfully moving through the air...i was
sad. no longer that little girl with the big mocha
eyes.

[life is a promise...fulfill it -mother teresa]