blueskys

"and a man said, speak to us of self-knowledge.
and he answered, saying:
your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days
and the nights.
but your ears thirst for the sound of your heart's knowledge.
you would know in words that which you have always
known in thought.
you would touch with your finders the naked body of your
dreams.

and it is well you should.
the hidden well-spring of your soul must needs rise and run
mumuring to the sea; and the treasure of your infinite
depths would be revealed to your eyes.
but let there be no scales to weigh your unknown treasure;

and seek not the depths of your knowledge with staff or
sounding line.
for self is a sea boundless and measureless.

say not, "i have found the truth," but rather, "i have
found a truth."

say not, "i have found the path of the soul."
say rather, "i have met the soul waking upon my path."

for the soul walks upon all paths.

the soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow
like a reed.

the soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals."
[ kahlil gibran, the prophet - on self-knowledge ]


blessings ya'll

moving on.....

well bless my soul -

3 heathly kids a
art show friday nite a
more paintings on the horizon a
friends who care and help a

one last thing - how do you move on
from anger or hurt. obviously this isn't
my strong suit. how do you honestly
let it go? you are more than welcome
to leave a comment or email me!
indigosoul@sbcglobal.net

blessings ya'll

life

this game of life, some days about does me in.
as my midnight profile states, i tend to "often lie
awake in bed thinking about the world and
my place in it."

i yearn to find a more creative community, i want
to move to a warmer climate.

i have had many big lessons the last 6 months. and i
struggle to find the middle ground. the ground where
i am comfortable enough to tell someone that i don't
appreciate being stepped on. the ground where i stand
up for what i believe is right. when i don't have this
balance - i carry too much anger and sadness and as
we all know, anger and sadness is like a cancer that
grows quickly, devouring your soul.

i have a new nephew who is absolutely beautiful. we
have cute kids in this family. and they all hold their
own beauty within.

i have struggled with several people this last year. and
because of the close relationship....i walk on eggshells
trying hard not to rock the boat. but i am disappointed
in them, disappointed that we are suddenly cast to
the side of their life. family relationships are hard and there
are some that you know if you say anything, the relationship
will be ruined. i am tired of going to gatherings and
biting my tongue. so where do i draw the line and say...
enough!

the little inner voice wants to scream, all the while the
voice of [don't rock the boat, kelly] is whispering...always
whispering. don't rock it, . that is the voice of childhood.
the voice of reason, the voice that i hate. because - i
need to rock the boat. i need to stand up and simply say...

YOU HAVE HURT ME!

and who gets the brunt of this anger, the one i need the most,
the one i adore, the one i am so mad at that we have barely
spoke for 5 days. but he hurt me. he tells me too often, don't
rock the boat kelly.

the boat needs to rocked, it is in the strong current, spinning
upstream. our families need to know that we don't agree with
this or that, sweeping this under the rug serves NO purpose.
that my kids deserve more. not more as in material things, but
the do deserve to have people show up, they need to be
included.

how do you tell family that they are toxic for you. how do
you go to the school board and voice your distaste when you
spouse is an admin? how do you say....you have got to make
the students follow the rules, we are heading in the wrong
direction. i tend to be too passionate, and as i voice my concerns
or opinions, i get louder and talk faster with my hands flying all
over the place.....this gets me nowhere - so i reserve this for
b, or heather or becky, they get the brunt of it.

i have many blessings in my life, but today i want to wrap
those blessing up in brown paper, bundle them up with white
string, gently put them in the back seat and drive south, south where
it is warm, wear i can walk a beach. were we can embrace each
other, without the stress of making everyone else happy.
and where for the moment i know no one, and i don't have to be
walked all over by people i considered friends and family.

and since that isn't in our game plan, i might just stroll downtown
and gaze in the window where my art will be hanging along with
the alaskan art and be happy with myself that i stepped out of
the comfort zone and sent my art to be juried. and i will hug my
kids when the get home from school today, and maybe toss aside
my hurt feelings and move on from my sillyness with b and ask
him to work to fix it.

peace.....

midnight

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits. Whether you're a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle. Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it. You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

What Time Of Day Are You?

[note: i think out of all of these i have done - this one is the true me!]

peace begins

peace begins at home - 2nd in the h.o.m.e. series

peace begins

8 x 24 x 1.5 canvas
mixed media
acrylics, ink, graphite,
silver leaf and found papers
and an ittybitty bit of glitter

[ whatever comes from the heart
carries the heat and color of it birthplace. ]
~oliver wendell holmes, sr.

-now in the happygirl shop -

my sacred life *[ lazy ]

i am a lazy girl....
i waste time.....
i sabotage myself....
i surf too much.....
i love to nap.....
i compare myself to others....
i hold grudges....
i sing off-key....

...i love to laugh
...i love to help others
...i am a hugger
...i can paint
...i am a master doodler
...i am a mother
...i can drive a stick
...i make others smile


i am lazy, i worked really hard
today to make this a great day. lots
of to-do's were scratched off my vast
list, i started a new painting. i shipped
an order today, designed logos, talked
to friends, prayed and hugged my kids.

[realize how good you really are.]
~og mandino

sacred *[ mother mary ]

my sacred life - mary

i pass this holy candle everyday and i gain strength from
mary. the best part is - i bought this while krogering.
somedays i allow myself to get into such a funk, worrying
about the silliest things

why don't i have more clients
what if i never make anymore money
how can we survive on one income
when will i have something big fall into my lap
who is reading my blog

silly - silly - silliness.

recently the national news began chirping about the
finding of mother teresa's private journals - shocking
that she too suffered from self doubt. why wouldn't
she. she is human, after all.

i gain my strength daily from many women i adore...

woman who rise to the ocassion, women who
have graciously embraced me and all of my questions
and curiosities. woman who i have learned what
womanhood really is and my girls who are growing,
and are beautiful in every sense and woman who
believe in me, my friendship and my abilities.

my days are filled with constant reminders of
what truly matters. now if i can just embrace
that each day and get rid of those silly self doubting
voices.

hmmm....my sacred life

-see other sacred lives here-

sacred *[ sixteen ]

sixteen

then out of the water!
sing loud while you dry!
sing loud, "i am lucky!"sing loud,
"i am i!"

if you'd never been born, then you might be an isn't!
an isn't has nofun at all. no he disn't.
he never has birthdays, andthat isn't pleasant.
you have to be born,or you don't get a present.
a present! a-ha!now what kind shall i give....?
why, the kind you remember as long as you live......

[from dr. seuss, happy birthday to you]

happy birthday you big goofball! you add more to

your mom's life - than you will ever know. i love

your sense of humor, your goofiness, i love watching

you swim breast stroke and playing the guitar. you
make me laugh and i love that you still come home
from school, smile and give me a big fat hug.

you are my blessing, you are part of my sacred life.

-see other sacred lives here-

sacred *[ caroline ]

my sacred life - caroline

each morning, i check in on caroline.
she is fighting juvenile myelomonocytic

leukemia. she is now 5 and receiving
her second transplant. the first one
failed. she is now getting a double
cord transplant. i also check in on
the henry tucker family,
evan cousineau
and isabella massa.

they are part of my sacred life.....

-see other sacred lives here-

bless my soul *[ sacred ]

my sacred life - frida

[ there is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's
going to be a butterfly. ] ~buckminster fuller

i have a frida pendant that i wear almost everyday. and
it amazes me when people ask if i know anything about her.
then they always make a big comment of [she was crazy,
or have you seen her art?! almost offended, and i get this
crazy sick gratitude, when i answer - why yes! because
i am not at all offended by frida.

she is the butterfly.

-see other sacred lives here-

IF...*[ alphabet ]

illustration friday - alphabet [ H.O.M.E. ]

" a wonderful realization will be the day you realized that
you are unique in all the world. the world is an incredible
unfulfilled tapestry, and only you can fulfill that tiny space
that is yours." ~ leo buscaglia

h.o.m.e.
10x30x1.5 canvas
mixed media
acrylics, ink, graphite, silver leaf and found papers