mondo beyondo

"i shall not" ....december 2007

love wide #2
4ft x 4ft canvas
mixed media
acrylics, paper and silver leaf.
text...."i shall not walk alone" ben harper

this is the first year for me to participate in MONDO BEYONDO
superhero andrea scher posted this on her site. it is a ritual

that allows you to start fresh, move forward and find peace
with what came before....paraphrasing there! i don't know
about you-but i am happy to give it a try. lord knows i need
to try. so here goes....feel free to leave yours here or on
your own blog.

1. what do you want to acknowledge yourself for in
regard to 2007? many things happen with each year bringing joy
and pain. i didn't
get a job that would have made a huge
difference in our family's income,
my kids cost of education
and one large opportunity for me as a designer.
I hate
interviews, hate the process - but i did it. I am proud that i
did it
I made it to the final rounds and when i didn't get it, i
was devastated. i was bummed out. but, i didn't get it and
because i didn't get the
job.....i got to paint more. i made it
through two series, the girl and h.o.m.e. in october i was
selected to be part of our local art show which
is juried and
a regional show. november i had my first solo showing...i
proud of those steps i took to continue to put myself out there.

our family grew closer and i have watched my kids grow and
work hard
at school....i am proud that my kids love me, that
even after hairy days
they hug me and say "goodnite mom"

i am SO proud that i made it through another year of freelancing
my little company indigosoul and mostly that even on days
of doubt,
i continue to paint my little creations - they make me
smile inside and out.

oh and the highlight of my year was sitting next to miss cand
listening to the words of the dalai lama....namaste

2. what is there to grieve about 2007

I forgive myself for not getting that design job. i forgive myself
for not bringing in more income and allowing myself to sit in front
of the computer and surf art sites rather than going out for a walk
or doing pilates. and
because i didn't exercise - i have to let go
of the fact that i made myself
even chubbier. i hate that i am the
heaviest i have ever been - so i say
to hell with the weight, i am
going to let it go so that i don't cry when i
stand in front of the
mirror and i am on my 4th old outfit and it doesn't'
even fit! and
mostly i forgive myself for allowing a specific someone to
put their
lack of responsibility on me. to feel bad because they don't
they should have to help, unless it is on their terms. i forgive myself

for allowing this negative force to suck my energy to so many low

3. what else do you need to say about the year to
declare it complete?

the year was like any other....high and low, but it just slides into
the next.
i learned what i will take with me and what i will change
and that through
it all, what matters most are those i cherish who
are sleeping soundly as
i type this and another one who is, i am
sure, up and studying south of here.

self challenge, create, peace and forgiveness are my 2008.

oh and when you are done with this one she has part ii posted too!

mondo beyond part ii: where are you going? [thanks andrea]


Kelly C. said...

thanks for your sweet comment on my blog-- just what i needed to hear.
your mondo beyondo list really hits home and i'm sending you mondo-beyondo good vibes your way, sister.

Marilyn said...

I love your art. And just think, if you'd gotten that job, you might not have created what you did. Here's to forgiving all the crap of 2007 (I'm speaking mostly for myself...ha!...doesn't seem to have been a great year for many...I've read several Mondo's). Here's to a much better 2008! xoxo

Michelle (a.k.a. la vie en rose) said...

i especially love the section where you forgave yourself for things from the year. that is such a powerful excercise. i need to do a little bit of the forgiving as well...

Swirly said...

From what I have seen you have had an amazing year creatively and I can't wait to see what you do in 2008. I think I've said that to you a dozen times now!!