and it begins again

well holy shit...it begins again.
i swear my nickname does fit
[schleprock]. i am so like the
schleprocks on the flintstones.
i walk around with a damn rain
cloud over my head.

bryce and i went to his breakfast
meeting this morning, where i had
to endure athletics talk for more
than an hour, then we went on to
pick up my beloved saab. i hugged
and kissed her when they drove her
out. i know she wanted to get me home
safely. for cripes sakes, $2750.00 should
have been a guarantee that she could have
made it the 45 mile trip. well we made
it about 42 miles. right as i pulled off of
the 74/32 exit. i put her in first, then
second and third and low and behold.....
transmission out once again. so i try to
down shift, but no, i coast into the empty
eye soar to the right and wait for bryce
to pull up beside me. of course i had to
say nothing, the tears in my eyes let him
know that i was on the verge of a break down.

now i realize that life could be worse. at this
moment i could be a katrina survivor. i could
be a military widow. or cancer could be affecting
my life somehow. i always know i could have
it worse. but bryce and i have worked so hard
to downsize and live with a lot less. and still
we are constantly bobbing out in the middle
of life, chins barely above surface, waiting for
that next wave to hit.

sorry for such a blubbering post, but i am
whiped. i want a break. i have no motivation
to design at the moment. i need for things to
balance out, so that i can work on these jobs
that are piling up. i want to see the sun.
maybe by late afternoon we will get some
sun and get rid of this gloomy day