high life
Originally uploaded by indigochickie.
mixed media collage
a bit busy, but i was just
trying out a few different
thoughts.
9.28.2005
high life
high life
Originally uploaded by indigochickie.
9.26.2005
indiana fall
leaves
Originally uploaded by indigochickie.
do you see the cherubs?
gabe and clancy were
about 5 and 3 years old
when this was taken. gabe
is now 14 and clancy will
soon be 12. they used to
love to spend time with one
another and would play for
hours. they were pals. now
they just growl at one another!
oh look how sweet they are.
those were the days.
9.23.2005
9.22.2005
bobbers
i need to wake up! open the creative
gates and put my brushes to the canvas.
but i don't. i get so bogged down with daily
life. i can't seem to focus on anyone thing.
i struggle to fall asleep, so that by morning
i can barely get out of bed before the kids
get ready for school. oh to be the beav's mom.
you know the lovely, always prepared, always
rested june cleaver. i think june was a huge
valium abuser. is anyone that together.
i have so many ideas in my head. i have many
sketch pads, journal, paper clippings strewd
over my house [full] of thoughts, ideas....
why can i not bring them to life. i yearn
to find my own style. it is painful some days
feeling that sensation move closer to reality,
only for it to slowly sink back down. its like
when i was in labor with cheri'. i would push
and breathe, push more....rest. as soon as i
would rest she would slip back up. the anxiety,
the waiting, the nervousness.
my family is so supportive, they believe in me and
sometimes, they think it is so easy. when i mention
that i think i might do this, they always say [ so do
it]. SO DO IT. three simple words. okay, so where
do i start, who do i send my art to, who do i seek
out as an agent. how do i not look like everyone
else. where does the fresh come in? if i could
just DO IT...my design would already be in stores!
i would have a booth at the stationary convention
in NYC. i love them all dearly, but is it really that
flippin easy?
i feel like i am in the middle of a lake and cant
get to shore. my chin is just above the water
and i am bobbin ever so slowly in the water. just
like the ole red and yellow bobbers that my dad
used to attach to my cane pole.
i need to focus on a couple of things, but i like to
try everything. never becoming really good any
one technique. ohhhhhh i hate feeling like this.
i know that i am so blessed in my life. but i always
feel like something is missing and i know it has to do
with my creative self.
but where is it
gates and put my brushes to the canvas.
but i don't. i get so bogged down with daily
life. i can't seem to focus on anyone thing.
i struggle to fall asleep, so that by morning
i can barely get out of bed before the kids
get ready for school. oh to be the beav's mom.
you know the lovely, always prepared, always
rested june cleaver. i think june was a huge
valium abuser. is anyone that together.
i have so many ideas in my head. i have many
sketch pads, journal, paper clippings strewd
over my house [full] of thoughts, ideas....
why can i not bring them to life. i yearn
to find my own style. it is painful some days
feeling that sensation move closer to reality,
only for it to slowly sink back down. its like
when i was in labor with cheri'. i would push
and breathe, push more....rest. as soon as i
would rest she would slip back up. the anxiety,
the waiting, the nervousness.
my family is so supportive, they believe in me and
sometimes, they think it is so easy. when i mention
that i think i might do this, they always say [ so do
it]. SO DO IT. three simple words. okay, so where
do i start, who do i send my art to, who do i seek
out as an agent. how do i not look like everyone
else. where does the fresh come in? if i could
just DO IT...my design would already be in stores!
i would have a booth at the stationary convention
in NYC. i love them all dearly, but is it really that
flippin easy?
i feel like i am in the middle of a lake and cant
get to shore. my chin is just above the water
and i am bobbin ever so slowly in the water. just
like the ole red and yellow bobbers that my dad
used to attach to my cane pole.
i need to focus on a couple of things, but i like to
try everything. never becoming really good any
one technique. ohhhhhh i hate feeling like this.
i know that i am so blessed in my life. but i always
feel like something is missing and i know it has to do
with my creative self.
but where is it
gratitude...
penelopie has posted a fun exercise.
it makes you think fast. it also allows
you to understand the blessings that
surround us. so here goes....
1. lunch at urban elements with my buddy tom [he rocks]
2. golden paints and a canvas
3. new doodle pad
4. organizing my desk
5. the bee gees
6. laughing with my kids [patience works]
7. downtime
8. going to watch my brother coach varsity football...go warriors!
9. my own studio space
10. receiving my grandmas jewel dishware
where's your gratitude?
it makes you think fast. it also allows
you to understand the blessings that
surround us. so here goes....
1. lunch at urban elements with my buddy tom [he rocks]
2. golden paints and a canvas
3. new doodle pad
4. organizing my desk
5. the bee gees
6. laughing with my kids [patience works]
7. downtime
8. going to watch my brother coach varsity football...go warriors!
9. my own studio space
10. receiving my grandmas jewel dishware
where's your gratitude?
9.13.2005
life
life is funny sometimes. i talk daily with women all over the
country and one in canada. very creative, kind and talented
women. as i visit their sites daily and read their stories, i
realize how much we really are like one another.
we all struggle day to day with our fight to believe in ourselves
and our art. we have all seen dark days. we worry about our kids,
partners and finances. we all work to be recognized, yet somehow,
we sometimes just want to create and it doesn't even matter if
anyone sees it. it is ours to own.
our world is so competitive and cut throat, yet these women take
the time to answer my questions, complement my creative force
and share their stories with me.
chances are we will not meet face to face, but they are with me
everyday as i ready myself for a day of work. and they are with
me in the evenings as i wind down from a hectic day.
life...
country and one in canada. very creative, kind and talented
women. as i visit their sites daily and read their stories, i
realize how much we really are like one another.
we all struggle day to day with our fight to believe in ourselves
and our art. we have all seen dark days. we worry about our kids,
partners and finances. we all work to be recognized, yet somehow,
we sometimes just want to create and it doesn't even matter if
anyone sees it. it is ours to own.
our world is so competitive and cut throat, yet these women take
the time to answer my questions, complement my creative force
and share their stories with me.
chances are we will not meet face to face, but they are with me
everyday as i ready myself for a day of work. and they are with
me in the evenings as i wind down from a hectic day.
life...
9.08.2005
remember peace
9.06.2005
the saaba continues
oh the woes of owning a car....
of course my clutch went out last weekend
and i went almost a whole week without
transportation. tonight clancy and i
were heading to lafayette again - gabe
had a tennis meet. we stopped at panera
bread to get a decent quick meal and when
i went to start the car back up, it wouldn't
start! i wanted to cry, but i kept reminding
myself that in the grand scheme of life
this was fixable, and really no big deal.
so i ran into borders and found a pay phone and
called my in-laws collect. oh that's right, i don't
own a cell phone. oh no, not me. i hate them,
so i had to make a collect call, like they have to
do from the county jail after a nite of binge drinking!
sooooo....to make this painful story short. the lovely
folks who repaired the clutched didn't remount the battery.
it was loose, so we drove it about 10 blocks to some family
friends and used their tools to tighten things up. all better!
i made it to the courts to pick up gabe right as he was
hopping on the bus. maybe i will make the brownsburg
trip without any hitches!
did i mention that my in-laws
are my heros.
it has been a crappy 7 days. the weekend was filled with
sleep to catch up and try to destress from the past week.
i pissed my former boss off [ apparently took a logo job that
was somehow indirectly aquainted with her client ] [my client
says they were not] so i got burned and have been struggling with
that since wednesday. my reverse still isn't functioning properly
and i have clients that only give me bits and pieces of info and i
have to put more time into emailing back and forth than i do
designing the piece! not to mention to whole heart-breaking
debacle in the south...where the hell is our government, what
happen to the humanity. i find it hard to sleep right now. i am
one of the lucky ones.
i am dreaming about a quiet beach, tiki hut bar, clear caribbean
water and a bitchin tan!
nite
of course my clutch went out last weekend
and i went almost a whole week without
transportation. tonight clancy and i
were heading to lafayette again - gabe
had a tennis meet. we stopped at panera
bread to get a decent quick meal and when
i went to start the car back up, it wouldn't
start! i wanted to cry, but i kept reminding
myself that in the grand scheme of life
this was fixable, and really no big deal.
so i ran into borders and found a pay phone and
called my in-laws collect. oh that's right, i don't
own a cell phone. oh no, not me. i hate them,
so i had to make a collect call, like they have to
do from the county jail after a nite of binge drinking!
sooooo....to make this painful story short. the lovely
folks who repaired the clutched didn't remount the battery.
it was loose, so we drove it about 10 blocks to some family
friends and used their tools to tighten things up. all better!
i made it to the courts to pick up gabe right as he was
hopping on the bus. maybe i will make the brownsburg
trip without any hitches!
did i mention that my in-laws
are my heros.
it has been a crappy 7 days. the weekend was filled with
sleep to catch up and try to destress from the past week.
i pissed my former boss off [ apparently took a logo job that
was somehow indirectly aquainted with her client ] [my client
says they were not] so i got burned and have been struggling with
that since wednesday. my reverse still isn't functioning properly
and i have clients that only give me bits and pieces of info and i
have to put more time into emailing back and forth than i do
designing the piece! not to mention to whole heart-breaking
debacle in the south...where the hell is our government, what
happen to the humanity. i find it hard to sleep right now. i am
one of the lucky ones.
i am dreaming about a quiet beach, tiki hut bar, clear caribbean
water and a bitchin tan!
nite
9.02.2005
give
the devastion in the south is only being realized.
as the days go by, i float back and forth between
my reality and what is going on around me and
away from me. my heart breaks for all who
have lost what they love most.
take the time to check out america's second harvest
and the red cross. give what you can. and please
take the time to pray for our nation and the people
who are suffering most at this time.
there are also many sites who are donating proceeds
from their sales to the victims. check these sites out
swirly and etsy.
chip in and help out in anyway you can.
-each one of us has a spark of life
inside us, and we must set off that
spark in one another [kenny ausubel]
blessings to all...
as the days go by, i float back and forth between
my reality and what is going on around me and
away from me. my heart breaks for all who
have lost what they love most.
take the time to check out america's second harvest
and the red cross. give what you can. and please
take the time to pray for our nation and the people
who are suffering most at this time.
there are also many sites who are donating proceeds
from their sales to the victims. check these sites out
swirly and etsy.
chip in and help out in anyway you can.
-each one of us has a spark of life
inside us, and we must set off that
spark in one another [kenny ausubel]
blessings to all...
8.31.2005
8.30.2005
margaritaville 05
margaritaville - jimmy buffett
Nibblin' on sponge cake,watchin' the sun bake;
All of those tourists covered with oil.
Strummin' my six string on my front porch swing.
Smell those shrimp--They're beginnin' to boil.
Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know it's nobody's fault.
Don't know the reason,Stayed here all season
With nothing to show but this brand new tattoo.
But it's a real beauty,A Mexican cutie,
how it got hereI haven't a clue.
Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
Now I think,-- hell it could be my fault.
I blew out my flip flop,Stepped on a pop top;
Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home.
But there's booze in the blender,And soon
it will renderThat frozen concoction that helps me hang on.
Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know, it's my own damn fault.
Yes, and some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
And I know it's my own damn fault.
one day and counting...teehee
Nibblin' on sponge cake,watchin' the sun bake;
All of those tourists covered with oil.
Strummin' my six string on my front porch swing.
Smell those shrimp--They're beginnin' to boil.
Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know it's nobody's fault.
Don't know the reason,Stayed here all season
With nothing to show but this brand new tattoo.
But it's a real beauty,A Mexican cutie,
how it got hereI haven't a clue.
Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
Now I think,-- hell it could be my fault.
I blew out my flip flop,Stepped on a pop top;
Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home.
But there's booze in the blender,And soon
it will renderThat frozen concoction that helps me hang on.
Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know, it's my own damn fault.
Yes, and some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
And I know it's my own damn fault.
one day and counting...teehee
8.28.2005
busy busy busy
i have just made it through another hectic weekend...
another weekend of very little down time, no time
to lock myself away and create....
i missed penelope's opening nite at the munce art
center....bummer. but i did get to see gabe perform
with the high school band. he looked so small out there
on the football field and i got to see my pal rex beat
a state ranked team. chs has never beaten danville
and the friday nite frenzy was exactly that. my dad
was a varsity football coach. i spent my fall evenings
on the field with my dad. i also spent the summer at
two-a-days. dad would throw my bike in the back of
the old dodge and i would sit in the back of the truck
for the 11 mile trek on the back roads of montgomery
county. i often wonder how i never fell out of that
truck! mothers would cringe today. we just went with
the flow.
to top off the whole weekend. on my way to lafayette
today. my clutch went out on my [new-used] 94' saab!
i had 3 kids with me. we have been struggling with the
reverse. it is manual and i have to put it in first and
the quickly jack it into reverse [somehow the rocking
back and forth eventually throws it into reverse]
and if that doesnt work, i have to have gabe push me
so i can get in a position to drive forward. we might
as well be ma and pa kettle. gabe thinks is it the coolest
thing to push the car. i am sure the transmission will have
to be replaced. so much for putting christmas $$$ back.
oh i am ready to slow down on the design work, so i can
put my create flow to work. the ideas are not only swimming
in my head, but i have sketches all over the studio. i am just
going to have to set aside an hour or two a day to create.
money vs art....oh the pain!
buffett...3 days and counting
another weekend of very little down time, no time
to lock myself away and create....
i missed penelope's opening nite at the munce art
center....bummer. but i did get to see gabe perform
with the high school band. he looked so small out there
on the football field and i got to see my pal rex beat
a state ranked team. chs has never beaten danville
and the friday nite frenzy was exactly that. my dad
was a varsity football coach. i spent my fall evenings
on the field with my dad. i also spent the summer at
two-a-days. dad would throw my bike in the back of
the old dodge and i would sit in the back of the truck
for the 11 mile trek on the back roads of montgomery
county. i often wonder how i never fell out of that
truck! mothers would cringe today. we just went with
the flow.
to top off the whole weekend. on my way to lafayette
today. my clutch went out on my [new-used] 94' saab!
i had 3 kids with me. we have been struggling with the
reverse. it is manual and i have to put it in first and
the quickly jack it into reverse [somehow the rocking
back and forth eventually throws it into reverse]
and if that doesnt work, i have to have gabe push me
so i can get in a position to drive forward. we might
as well be ma and pa kettle. gabe thinks is it the coolest
thing to push the car. i am sure the transmission will have
to be replaced. so much for putting christmas $$$ back.
oh i am ready to slow down on the design work, so i can
put my create flow to work. the ideas are not only swimming
in my head, but i have sketches all over the studio. i am just
going to have to set aside an hour or two a day to create.
money vs art....oh the pain!
buffett...3 days and counting
8.24.2005
sore
i have started running again...
as bryce wakes me up, i moan in
pain and beg that we not run today.
but he knows that i am just tired and
once we stretch and get out on the road
i will be okay. and i am. today i ran a
whole extra block. hey quit laughing.
i am not a natural born runner. i don't
have long lean legs - i was blessed with
stubby chunky legs. legs that drag
as i run. which brings me to my next
thought - clancy
oh that sweet little cherabim - clancy.
she is running cross country, so i thought
if i train for the 5k again this year, she and
i can run it together. that would be a nice
mother-daughter day. so when i told her
i wanted to do this with her she snorted...
yeah that's what i thought. what is up
with the snort. of course i asked. she
explained that it was beyond the realm
of possibility for her to run with me,
because i run like a dork! such a blessed
little thing, she can't run with me, because
i embarrass her. embrass her? what the
hell does she mean embarrass her. i am
the hippest mom on the block! my children
are so sweet, i just can't imagine my life
without them. i could just eat them up.
reminds me of wedding receptions when
bryce and i are dancing to a really great
song and i look over as i throw out the
fishing line to reel bryce in and cheri'
is sitting in a corner with a look of
disgust! my children just adore their
mother.
sad thing is pay backs hurt. i remember
watching my mom, as a child, thinking
was i adopted? surely god would have
never placed me with this. i often
wonder if i had been nicer to my mom,
my kids wouldn't be so hard on me.
doubt it.
as bryce wakes me up, i moan in
pain and beg that we not run today.
but he knows that i am just tired and
once we stretch and get out on the road
i will be okay. and i am. today i ran a
whole extra block. hey quit laughing.
i am not a natural born runner. i don't
have long lean legs - i was blessed with
stubby chunky legs. legs that drag
as i run. which brings me to my next
thought - clancy
oh that sweet little cherabim - clancy.
she is running cross country, so i thought
if i train for the 5k again this year, she and
i can run it together. that would be a nice
mother-daughter day. so when i told her
i wanted to do this with her she snorted...
yeah that's what i thought. what is up
with the snort. of course i asked. she
explained that it was beyond the realm
of possibility for her to run with me,
because i run like a dork! such a blessed
little thing, she can't run with me, because
i embarrass her. embrass her? what the
hell does she mean embarrass her. i am
the hippest mom on the block! my children
are so sweet, i just can't imagine my life
without them. i could just eat them up.
reminds me of wedding receptions when
bryce and i are dancing to a really great
song and i look over as i throw out the
fishing line to reel bryce in and cheri'
is sitting in a corner with a look of
disgust! my children just adore their
mother.
sad thing is pay backs hurt. i remember
watching my mom, as a child, thinking
was i adopted? surely god would have
never placed me with this. i often
wonder if i had been nicer to my mom,
my kids wouldn't be so hard on me.
doubt it.
8.21.2005
the girl with coffee colored eyes
the girl with coffee colored eyes
Originally uploaded by indigochickie.
life is a promise...fulfill it
~mother teresa
mocha eyes
we took cheri' to iu today...
she really doesn't want to have
to go back for another year of
studying, but she knows she doesn't
want to be here at home either.
this weekend wasn't a good one with
her. she was very moody and pretty
much a pain in my arse. but as we
got closer to iu her mood changed. she
was laughing and smiling. she drove
ahead of bryce and myself in the borrowed
truck. and i couldn't help wonder where the
time has gone. she has gone from a very
active child to an extremely confident, independent
young woman. sometimes when she is acting
like a typical 19 year old - i have to remind myself
that she is just that...19. most days she comes off
at about 25-30. she has been such an ease to raise.
i know i really only have her 3 more years. i know
that when she graduates, she will leave me. most
days i am glad of that. i want her to spread those
wings and fly. i didn't do that. that is a regret.
but today watching her drive ahead. hand out the
window, playfully moving through the air...i was
sad. no longer that little girl with the big mocha
eyes.
[life is a promise...fulfill it -mother teresa]
she really doesn't want to have
to go back for another year of
studying, but she knows she doesn't
want to be here at home either.
this weekend wasn't a good one with
her. she was very moody and pretty
much a pain in my arse. but as we
got closer to iu her mood changed. she
was laughing and smiling. she drove
ahead of bryce and myself in the borrowed
truck. and i couldn't help wonder where the
time has gone. she has gone from a very
active child to an extremely confident, independent
young woman. sometimes when she is acting
like a typical 19 year old - i have to remind myself
that she is just that...19. most days she comes off
at about 25-30. she has been such an ease to raise.
i know i really only have her 3 more years. i know
that when she graduates, she will leave me. most
days i am glad of that. i want her to spread those
wings and fly. i didn't do that. that is a regret.
but today watching her drive ahead. hand out the
window, playfully moving through the air...i was
sad. no longer that little girl with the big mocha
eyes.
[life is a promise...fulfill it -mother teresa]
8.17.2005
indigo update
yippee...the walls are painted, new furniture in.
now i just have to make a run to lowes tomorrow
nite to pick up my shelving. then i get to put up
my lopie illos , make a few minor adjustments
and the studio will be up and moving
...yea!
pictures coming
i am so happy i left the work for someone else world.
now i just have to make a run to lowes tomorrow
nite to pick up my shelving. then i get to put up
my lopie illos , make a few minor adjustments
and the studio will be up and moving
...yea!
pictures coming
i am so happy i left the work for someone else world.
8.15.2005
indigostudio
i am painting my studio today....
okay i'm not painting it, i have hired
someone to do it for me. we worked
out a sweet deal and it was worth the
money, especially since i have no time
to do it! cheri' will put together all
of my ikea purchases, desk, bookcase,
futon, etc. i will post before and after photos so
that you can see how pathetic it is now
and how great it will look!
when i look at the before pictures, i want to
cry...i cant believe i have worked in this hole
for this long. everything is at eye level, nothing
creative, horrible dark eggplant walls,
clutter-clutter-clutter. i don't know how
i am even creative.
to end on a happy note, we had a big family gathering
yesterday to celebrate my parents 45th wedding
anniversary. it was a great day
okay i'm not painting it, i have hired
someone to do it for me. we worked
out a sweet deal and it was worth the
money, especially since i have no time
to do it! cheri' will put together all
of my ikea purchases, desk, bookcase,
futon, etc. i will post before and after photos so
that you can see how pathetic it is now
and how great it will look!
when i look at the before pictures, i want to
cry...i cant believe i have worked in this hole
for this long. everything is at eye level, nothing
creative, horrible dark eggplant walls,
clutter-clutter-clutter. i don't know how
i am even creative.
to end on a happy note, we had a big family gathering
yesterday to celebrate my parents 45th wedding
anniversary. it was a great day
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)